Photographic Memories
by Black Goddess
Summary: John hates having his photo taken but Rodney just can't stop taking pictures.


This was first written for the livejournal community 14 valentines so it was first posted over there, but I thought I'd put it up here as well.

14 Valentines Day 1 – Body Image

Photographic Memories

betaed by Gumbie Cat, who is a star for doing it so quickly!

**disclaimer** - I am in no way connected to Stargate: Atlantis. This is a not-for-profit fanwork.

John had never really been a fan of having his picture taken. When he was a little kid he'd always squirmed and tried to hide whenever his mom had got out the camera. Even if you ignored the ears, he just never photographed well, always pulling a weird face. In photos, he looked goofy or stupid, and John knew he was neither.

Rodney, typically, loved having his photo taken. John supposed it was because his essential Rodney-ness always came across whatever medium Rodney should choose to express himself in. Slightly more annoyingly, Rodney seemed to think that his pleasure in being photographed was shared by the rest of the team. Since they'd re-established contact with Earth, Rodney had developed a tendency to produce a camera at random moments. He snapped away merrily and was more than happy to pass the camera to anyone who expressed an interest, and he always distributed the results via group email. John had pictures of himself with his eyes closed. He had pictures of himself mid-word, looking as though he were about to sneeze. He had pictures of himself mid-step, looking like some sort of crazy zombie break dancer. He even had one picture of himself mid-step, mid-word and with his eyes closed. John kept going back to it at odd moments and just staring in disbelief. Out of over 200 snaps, John could find only two bearable pictures.

Neither Ronon nor Teyla seemed bothered by McKay's snap-happy tendencies. John had secretly hoped that Teyla might feel that the camera was stealing pieces of her soul, or that people were sacred and producing images of them diluted their essence or some other way of wording it, but when he'd cautiously raised the subject, he'd been disappointed ("I do not find it distasteful and I believe Rodney enjoys it. Besides, it is nice to have a record of our excursions"). John knew when he was beaten, and had secretly put it down to the fact that even someone who had never seen herself photographed before would realise that she was very photogenic.

He didn't bother approaching Ronon. Even when caught at an awkward angle, the man gave off an air of power and violence that was faintly unsettling and also tended to upstage anyone else in the picture. Ronon religiously printed out the photos that Rodney sent round and fixed them carefully to the walls of his quarters. John tried not to go in there any more.

As Rodney just would not stop with the photos ("It's not as if they interfere with the mission and anyway, I think they're nice and Ronon agrees with me,") John tried to be the one behind the camera. Every time Rodney took the camera out, John would volunteer to be the photographer. The first time, he had the camera out of Rodney's hand before the man even noticed, but when three missions had passed and John had avoided being photographed on any of them, Rodney refused to hand the camera over any more.

"You've got to take turns, Colonel, it's only fair," Rodney told him, passing the camera to Ronon who immediately pointed it in their direction and pressed the button. Blinking in the glare of the flash, John said:

"I just like taking pictures, that's all."

"Well, so does everyone else so you'll have to take your turn," Rodney told him. "It's not like yours are particularly good, anyway," he added. "Last mission, all the photos you took didn't have heads!"

"That's not true," protested John. "There was that one of Teyla…"

"You cut her off at the waist," Ronon observed.

"There's plenty of skill in a good picture," Rodney said. "Skills which you clearly do not possess and besides," he added with a sniff, "taking turns is good teamwork, as you're usually the first to tell me." As the camera was now firmly in Ronon's grasp, John had to content himself with puzzling aloud why, if McKay had such great photographic skills, he never took any half-decent pictures, a tactic which earned him a disapproving look from Teyla and a glare from Ronon, so John was forced to drop the subject and admit that this was one battle he wasn't going to win.

The war, however, was a different matter. After receiving a particularly unflattering photograph of himself, one that even Rodney had realised was awful, but, rather than not sharing, had flagged up with 'and here's one of Lieutenant Colonel Tall, Dark and Handsome looking slightly less handsome than usual,' John had had enough. Destroying the camera was out – Rodney would only replace it and everyone would know who was to blame, and the same went for hacking the emails. Direct action was the only way, and so John steeled himself for confrontation.

"Look, Rodney," he said awkwardly. The scientist blinked at him, looking tired and confused. "You OK, buddy?" he asked, chickening out.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, just baffled by the level of sheer incompetence exhibited by those who are supposed to be our planet's best and brightest," Rodney told him, but he didn't object when John steered him away from his desk and towards the transporters.

"About those photographs…" John said as they emerged into the living area. Rodney suddenly looked slightly shifty.

"You got the latest email then," he said, and it wasn't a question.

"Would you mind not taking so many photos of me?" and dammit, that had come out wrong. "I mean, that one today? Why didn't you just delete it?"

"Surely your fragile ego can take the odd unflattering photograph?" Rodney said, somewhat sarcastically. "Honestly Colonel, I don't see what your problem is."

"My problem," said John through gritted teeth, "is that you are deliberately taking photos of me and then sending them around to the rest of my team who are putting them on the goddamned walls!"

Rodney looked alarmed, and John realised that he had raised his voice.

"Look," he said, lowering the volume as much as he could and trying to sound reasonable. "I don't mind you taking pictures of the others, I don't even mind you taking pictures of me, as long as I don't have to see them."

"You want me to cut you out of the emails?" said Rodney, and he sounded surprisingly hurt.

"Only the ones with the photographs," John said, unsure what exactly had just happened. "I can live without the photographic reminders of every planet we set foot on, thanks."

"OK," said Rodney softly. "Goodnight, Colonel," he said and stepped through the door into his quarters, closing the door before John had the chance to reply.

After that, Rodney stopped producing the camera and John found himself getting the cold shoulder from both Ronon and Teyla.

"Your behaviour was unkind and unnecessary," Teyla told him when he tried to speak to her about it. "Rodney was not harming anyone."

"I just don't like being photographed, I don't get why this has turned into such a big deal," John said, more than a little desperately. "Look, I didn't tell him to stop taking pictures, I just told him to stop showing them to me, now how was that so harsh?"

"I think you should be speaking with Rodney," Teyla told him.

Speaking with Rodney turned out to be more complicated than it sounded. He wasn't exactly avoiding John but he was certainly never alone. Eventually, John was forced to tackle him in the mess, under the watchful eyes of both Teyla and Ronon.

"What's the deal with those photos anyway?" he asked.

"What?" Rodney gave him a hurt glance. "I stopped taking them, what more do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you, I just… You never struck me as the artistic type."

"Oh, I'm not," Rodney said. "I just thought it'd be nice, you know?" John must have looked puzzled.

"Is it not a custom among your people for events to be recorded on film?" asked Teyla pointedly.

"Jennifer says that everyone does it," Ronon added, and John took a moment to process that because, Jennifer?

"My mum was crazy about taking photos," Rodney said wistfully. "Every significant occasion, and most of the insignificant ones as well, she'd be there, snapping away with her camera. Jeannie and I must have been the most photographed children on the block."

"Mine too," said John. "I always wore a baseball cap and shades. She said my graduation photo was the first one she'd had of my face in ten years."

"I am sure that it did not affect her feelings about you," Teyla said serenely, resting her hand on the curve of her belly. John and Rodney both winced.

"Yes, well, I've been considering recalibrating the sensors on the…." And Rodney was up and running. John chimed in as much as he could and did his best to ignore the amused glances exchanged by Teyla and Ronon.

The camera did reappear occasionally after that, but the pictures that appeared in John's inbox were only of his team. John even found a couple he was prepared to put on his wall.


End file.
